*Philly glad it will take at worst "115-47" to stick around next year*
Having inherited a team so puzzlingly bad, new owner sickchangeup is just glad of one thing: "I've gone 117-45 in the Negro Leagues before, so even if things go completely sour, and we end this season on a 126 game losing streak, I feel like we're still in it. 115-47 is not out of the question for season 2, I've seen worse".
While clearly delusional, one probably should question why a team in dire need of wins, and mostly devoid of talent, would go ahead and move it's two best players at the ML level for prospects. "He knows he needs to win .400 right?" asked commish csherwood of owner thaceo at the latest veterans committee meeting. "Definitely" theceo replied, "perhaps maths isn't his thing?".
Indeed, maths is NOT his thing. But when questioned on the trade, he said it was simply too good to pass on, even if some other owner stands to reap the rewards "Anytime you get to trade an overperforming 33 year old injury risk and two low DUR closers for your future catcher AND a lefty closer with triple digit split potential, you gotta take it - Billy Wagner doesn't grow on trees".
Ah yes.... A Philly owner using a Billy Wagner analogy... and trying to make that a GOOD THING. Clearly baseball history isn't his "forte" either. So what's the plan for this franchise? "Well, we signed some guy who's name I don't recall off the trash heap last week. He went a solid five and two thirds, giving up a solid 7 runs", adding "We lost that one unfortunately".
Solid indeed. And just as clearly this team is gonna be diving deep into Free Agency next season, or praying the waiver wire brings something otherworldy some day soon. Or Season 2 could be this owners first, and last, full season in moneyball.
Reporting from Philadelphia, I'm Bill "Large" Colon.